There’s a reason so many of us flinch at the word ‘productivity.’ Every week, in spaces across the internet, I see women share that their partners told them they just need to manage their time better. As if the problem is their calendar. As if the problem is them.

It’s been used to make us feel like the problem is always us. And that’s not an accident.

Women with no children do 2.3 times more housework than their male partners. So time management is not the problem there. Unfairness is. And yet, 46% of women experience burnout at work compared to 37% of men, and Black women in leadership are most affected, with rates rising to 80%, though of course it would be wrong to suggest bad productivity advice is the cause of that, when misogynoir is.

When an employer overloads their staff and refuses to hire more, they call it a time management problem instead of a capacity problem. They make it an individual problem. Very convenient.

You can’t systemise your way out of an impossible load to carry, at home or at work. And when the advice tells you that you can, it’s not just unhelpful, it’s actively harmful, because it puts the weight of a structural problem onto your shoulders and calls it self-improvement.

What happens when we try to follow the traditional advice anyway

Some of us do try and follow the traditional advice. We wake super early, use hacks upon hacks, endlessly try to optimise, hustle, whilst still trying to be the present and caring parents and humans we want to be. And it works, for a while, until it doesn’t. Until we burn out.

Much of the advice was clearly written by people who have no idea what we are actually managing. It’s for a different life than the one we are actually living, or want to be living. It falls flat for us, if not being actively harmful, because it wasn’t designed with our lives in mind.

There’s a difference between genuinely not using your time well and having an unfair amount of work. Traditional productivity advice tends to treat every problem like the first one. Which is why so much of it misses.

What we actually deserve instead

We deserve more of the good stuff. Advice that can distinguish between a discipline problem and a capacity problem, because those two things need completely different responses.

For the moments where there is something a good system can genuinely help with, where you do have some time and some agency and you want to use it well, that’s where something like Time Buckets comes in. It’s a flexible rhythm system, not a rigid schedule. It works around caring responsibilities rather than pretending they don’t exist, and it’s built for the life you’re actually living. You might also find it useful to read about the small things I do regularly to help life feel calmer, which is a gentler place to start if the word ‘system’ still makes you want to close the tab.

Naming the structural unfairness isn’t the end of the conversation. The unfairness is real, and we can still build rhythms that mean we’re not spending our limited energy on the wrong things. Both things are true at the same time. The practical tools we use aren’t a band-aid on a structural problem, they’re a form of dignity. We deserve systems that work for us.

So if you’re reading this thinking ‘I am so done with productivity advice, I don’t even want to hear the word’, totally fair. But if you want ideas on how to spend less time on things you don’t love so you have more for the things you do, you’re in the right place.

If you’re not sure where to start, Stop the Spiral is a free tool for when overwhelm kicks in and you can’t see clearly enough to know what actually matters.

Don’t do more. Do what matters. Do it differently.

A recent report from Epsom UK showed that almost half of UK based freelancers admitted to finding it ‘lonely’ and found it ‘isolating’. The absence of an office social life was important, a third of respondents said they missed office banter and missed being part of a team.  

There is a heightened awareness of the importance of good mental health at the moment.  Some people who go down the freelancing route do so in order to better manage a mental health condition.  

Although it’s true that freelancing and being self-employed can give you back control over your working day, it is also true that as we are running our own gig, many of us work harder and longer than ever before.  Switching off can be a real struggle! 

I’ve shared my own experiences with maintaining good mental health in the past through the Upfill.  In this post I talk through practical things that freelancers like us can try to help look after ourselves.

1. Create a clearly defined working area

As many of us work from home, try to create a workspace that is clearly just for that.  Even if you normally work at the kitchen table, set yourself up a “space” that is always the same.  You can associate that space with work.  

Stationery fan like me?  Decorate it with some motivational frames, some great notebooks and maybe a plant, for grounding.  Set it up the same way every time you want to work and to clear it away after so that the space goes back to being a “home” area.  

If you are lucky enough to have an office or desk, fab.  Again, get it set up in a way that is appealing and calm and take the time to clear the decks every time you are finished a work session.

I find that when I work at home for more than a few days at a time, I need to change scenery. I will de-camp to a local café or co-working space but even then I set myself up as “working” so that in my head that is my focus time. Sometimes a change of scene can help alleviate the feeling of isolation or loneliness which can encroach on our mental health – remember the local courier is not really your friend!

2. Working 9-5 isn’t so bad

On a similar vein, whilst being self-employed gives more work-life balance in theory, it can be so easy to fall into the trap of working for even longer hours with no breaks.  However passionate you are about your business, it is essential to take breaks, whether that is 5-minute breaks throughout the working day or ensuring that we switch off at the end of the day.  Our brains need time away from work to replenish and refresh so try some of these strategies and see if it helps reduce anxiety and stress.

• If you are a parent, then depending on your childcare arrangements, set work hours that you communicate to both yourself and your clients.  If your working hours are 9.30-2.30 then stick to those and refrain from answering emails or DMs outside of that time.  If you work in the evenings or are more creative at other times of the day, then by all means use those hours, but try to build in times that you are not working or available for clients so that you can be present in other areas of your life.
• Put structures in place to commit to tasks that need to be completed on a daily basis. Once you have worked through that list, switch off for the day/evening.
• Aim for at least an hour before you go to bed where you aren’t working so that your brain can wind down properly.
• Turn off notifications when you are not working.  If you were employed you would resent being always available, what has changed now?  Try to limit availability and respond to queries during working hours, even if you draft replies at other times.

3. Love what you do

One of the best things to do when you feel like work is getting too much and your mental health is suffering, is to focus on your strengths, aka re-connect with your “why”.  What is the best bit about running your own business? What really lights your fire? Spend some time focusing on that. If finances allow, you could investigate the possibility of outsourcing some of the elements that could be affecting your mental health, such as social media or finance.

Perhaps you wanted to work for yourself to be there for your partner / family / friends / kids.  Take some time to volunteer, eat out with loved ones, catch a film or pop in at the school to support your little one.  You would be surprised how refreshing it can be and the business will not collapse if you take a moment to yourself or to show those nearest to you how much you love them.

4. Reach out for a chat

Networking make you feel a bit icky?  Me too. But, talking always helps, whether it be to your partner, your cat or even other freelancers.

Have a scout around for groups that might suit your personality and find your flock.  There are so many different groups now, from traditional networking through to informal coffee mornings.  If there is nothing that you fancy, then you could event set up your own co-working coffee morning with other freelancers that you might have met over the course of running your business.

If leaving the house is not something you are ready to contemplate, get onto social media and put the scrolling to good use.  Spend ten minutes looking for businesses that look inspiring or are on -your wave-length and start connecting and engaging. Facebook groups are another great resource for support and cheerleading.

PS. My own Facebook group the Brand Un-Muddlers is a friendly community of over 150 people who are ready to support and welcome you. Come and say ‘hey’.